Featured Phones

Vertu made another phone for the rich and tasteless

Vertu has been hand crafting bad, high-priced, “luxury” phones since before the smartphone, and somehow has yet to be stopped. The company was started by Nokia back in 1998, and almost two decades later it won’t quit making ugly devices of questionable worth and selling them for thousands of dollars.

The latest device is the Vertu Constellation, which includes the specs of a solid flagship from mid-2016. There’s a 2,560 x 1,440 5.5-inch screen, a Snapdragon 820 processor, 4GB of RAM, and wireless charging. The main camera is 12 megapixels, with 1.55 micron pixels (similar specs to that of the Nexus 5X, 6P, and Pixel).

As for “luxury” amenities, the phone has a sapphire crystal screen, Dolby Digital Plus virtual surround sound, Italian leather, dual SIM support, and Vertu’s various concierge services. Also, phone calls made on the phone are encrypted through Silent Circle.

And for that typical Vertu touch of irrelevance, the phone runs Android 6.01.

To be honest, I can’t stand to look at this object, but I can’t say Vertu made the worst possible Android phone, given the specs listed. If you have tens of thousands of spare dollars, very little taste, and a desire to revisit the smartphone glory days of last year, maybe Constellation is just what you’ve been waiting for. It’ll be out in mid-February.

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